Category Archives: vacation

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They fixed it after Megatron crashed into it: Part III of Road Trippin’ 2013

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With day one in the books, a plan planned out, we set out for a second day of adventure and culture.  We disembarked the Metro and headed to the White House.

Prior to us leaving Chicago we had friends let us borrow their stroller that was more compact than the running stroller that we have at home.  We appreciate them allowing us to borrow the stroller, but it turned out to be our Achilles heel.  For some reason it made pushing difficult no matter which kid was in the front or the back.  It had a starboard list (for you non-Navy types – it leaned towards the right), which made it difficult to maneuver.  Regardless, we appreciate our friends allowing us to use their stroller.

Our children were an awe of how “white” the White House was and they stared in awe at the enormity and beauty of our President’s home.  It was refreshing to see other families with smaller children “culturing” their children with the rich history of our Nation’s Capitol.  We stared at the White House for a long 2 minutes and made our way to the reflecting pool.

As a person who previously served his country, it was important for me to view all the War Memorials.  While we were at the Vietnam Memorial my son witnessed two veterans weeping as they were making a pencil rubbing of a fallen comrade.  It was a very moving moment and I was humbled by the experience.  TheBoy kept asking why they were crying – I couldn’t find the words to explain why they were crying.  I told him they were sad their friend was no longer with them.  TheBoy being TheBoy informed that their friend will always be in their heart.  Both of the children enjoyed looking at their reflections in the memorial and it brought a sense of calm to my heart to see the innocence, love, and fun they were having.

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As we maneuvered our way through the crowds to view the most beautiful structure I have ever seen, The Lincoln Memorial, I was moved by the size and beauty of the structure built for our Greatest President.  As mentioned before, the stroller was a pain and we were not able to climb the steps of the memorial and stand in the spot where Dr. Martin Luther King gave his “I Have a Dream Speech”.  We took an elevator (yes, there is an elevator) to see Lincoln sitting in his chair as he surveyed the beauty of the National Mall.  The initial reaction of my kids – jaws dropped.  Then TheBoy made the funniest comment of the trip.  If you like Transformers you’ll understand.  He looked up at Old Abe and said, “They must have fixed him after Megatron sat on him”.  Oh my boy, I can’t wait until I tell everyone about that one.  TheGirl thought she was an exception to the rule or being obstinate as she usually is tried to climb over the metal ropes to sit on President Lincoln’s lap.  Needless to say, security didn’t appreciate a two year old trying to sit on “Santa’s” lap.  We took a few pictures, thanked a few WWII Veterans who were visiting with the Honor Flight (click here to read more about Honor Flights) and made our way to the WWII Memorial – or so I thought.

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On our way to the WWII Memorial, TheGirl feel and scraped her knee and leg multiple times.  It was the end of the world!!  Did I mention my wife is a great planner?  Well, she failed to bring bandages, anti-septic, and a suture bag.  With blood streaming down TheGirls leg, we briskly walked through the WWII Memorial with a sobbing child.  It was not fun and decided to end our adventure.

Also, we were not smart travelers and walked 7 miles instead of using public transportation to make our lives easier.  Instead, we carried a crying kid and pushed another in a stroller that wouldn’t roll in a straight line.

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Road Trippin’ 2013: Part I

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The following blog will be a multiple part series on how my wife and I survived an 11-hour trip to “culture” our children with a visit to the Nation’s Capitol, Washington D.C.

For a few months we have been preparing for our trip to visit our friends Mike & Kelly.  Mike & Kelly are friends and neighbors that moved to D.C. a few years ago and we have been planning to visit ever since.  They recently returned from a 4-month world tour and they chronicled their experience through words and pictures (click here to read their blog).  We appreciate them opening their home to our crazy family.

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Our bags were packed and we were off and on the road by 11:30 a.m.  We made our first bathroom stop at 11:45 a.m.  It is then I realized we were in for a very long trip.  When we OFFICIALLY put the pedal to the metal, we had the wind in our hair, the sun at our back, and…another potty break at 12:15.

It took us 45-minutes to get into Indiana and we made the decision to have a late lunch somewhere in the middle of Indiana…we pressed on, with another potty break.  For those of you that live in Indiana please jump to the next paragraph, I’m about to insult your state.  Indiana, at least the stretch along I-80 has nothing to offer to the World.  I would describe it as the armpit of the U.S.  The roads are horrible, the tolls are ridiculous, and my wife didn’t allow me to stop in Gary to visit Michael Jackson’s childhood home, so I officially dislike this section of Indiana.

What I do like about Indiana are the service plazas along the interstate.  They are huge plazas with different food options, gas, and areas for kid’s to stretch their legs without out driving a ¼ mile and paying a toll to get off then paying another to get back on the interstate.

As I said before, we have prepped for this trip and I would consider us smart travellers, I mean TheWife is a smart traveller.  TheWife had bags of books, movies, toys, crayons/coloring books, and snacks to keep the kids occupied.  But, I think we forget our children have attention spans of a 2-year old and 5-year old which leads to bickering and sibling fighting.  Did I fail to mention this was going to be a long trip?

With Indiana and Ohio behind us we entered what I believe to be one of the most beautiful states America has to offer, Pennsylvania.  We drove into PA, as the residents refer it to, it was getting late and we decided to stop, stretch the legs, and eat.  What we failed to remember is our kids aren’t conditioned to sitting in one place for a long period of time so when they get out of the car, they thought we were done.  TheGirl put up a fight getting back into the car seat, we knew she was tired, bored, tired, and bored, but we pressed on.

The valleys, mountains, and countryside of PA are beautiful, especially at dusk when the sun is setting.  The pastures were green, lush, and picturesque but we didn’t stop to get pictures…we “watered” them with another potty break!

When dusk turned to night, I started to go a little crazy.  We were in the car for 10+ hours and I was reaching my breaking point of sanity.  With TheBoy asleep, and the TheGirl at her breaking point as well, going cuckoo with her non-stop jabbering we climbed the mountains of PA.  She kept singing crazy songs and when I would drive over the rumble strips on the side of the road she would scream out, “what that”.  Needless to say she kept us awake and entertained.  We were on a small stretch of highway, at an 8% grade with creepy houses, shadows, and zero cars around us….this was a very long trip.

I kept telling the wife I was afraid of Bigfoot jumping out and attacking our car.  It didn’t help I recently watched a video (click here) that heightened my awareness of bigfoot lurking in the woods waiting for the exact moment to attack our family.  “What that”, I hit a rumble strip and TheGirl helped get my mind on track.  As we snaked through the winding roads my mind would play tricks on me and I had visions of a masked man on the side of the road with a chainsaw…this was an already long trip.

We decided to stop in a small town outside of Gettysburg and 11:00 p.m.  This is going to be a long trip.

To be continued…

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Doing the Happy Dance!

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Funny Conversation…

 

Me – Cameron, Do you have to go to the bathroom?

Cameron – NO! I just like dancin’.

Me – So, you like doing the happy dance while playing on your leap pad?

Cameron – It’s not a happy dance…I’m not happy!

Me – Okay, then why are you dancing?


Cameron – I have to pee really bad and it hurts…

Let the good times roll…

The editor in chief recommended I change my format.  Let’s see if she is right?

Why do kids wait so long to use the bathroom?  Why is it kids wait until you passed the sign that reads, NEXT REST STOP 38 MILES?  I don’t get it and doubt I ever will, but who knows, when I’m 90 and wearing Depends he will probably ask me the same question.

I have now become “that” dad who asks every five minutes when we are on a long road trip, “do you have to go potty?”  I am sure he gets tired of the question as much as I get tired of asking the question.  It needs to be done though!  Cameron and I recently took a road-trip to northern Nebraska and we were on a hilly stretch of highway with nothing but farms, cows, and truck drivers around us.  Cameron was asleep and I was rocking out to some music.  I heard him rustling around and as he woke up, he informed me he wet himself.  I couldn’t get mad at him; it was my fault that I gave him water an hour before he fell asleep.  I should have known better and remembered his peanut sized bladder.  I told him he would have to wait a few minutes before we could stop.  A few minutes turned into to 10.  We were nowhere near a gas station, restaurant, or rest stop, so I decided to pull off to the side of the road.  There I was, on the side of the road with my naked son standing out in the cold helping him change into dry clothes as 10 semi-trucks roar past our car.  It was a sight to see.

What’s with the dancing?  If you have to go, then go.  Like most kids, Cameron waits until the last possible minute to use the bathroom.  Watching him run to the bathroom, and hearing the rocket of urine escape his body is something out of a bad comedy.  It’s even funnier when he tells me, “That was close.”

Both TheWife and I tell him he shouldn’t wait so long, but understand it’s hard to walk away from the epic dual between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader that he has seen hundreds of times.

Regardless of the dancing, the accidents, and multiple stops on long car rides – it’s better than changing diapers or being peed on at the zoo (I’ll let you think about that one, I’m still traumatized by that experience).

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Fishing with the Kings

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Funny Conversation…



Cameron – Daddy, I’m the fisher king!

Me – What makes you the fisher king?

Cameron – I caught 12 fish and a foot long fish!

Me – That makes you an ichthyologist (look it up)


Cameron – Yeah, I’m that and a fisher king!

Let the good time roll… 

How many years does it take for something to become a “rite of passage”?  When does something that has little meaning at the time, have such a huge impact later in life?  For the past few days these are the questions that I have been asking myself.  Am I teaching my children the things that my father taught me, and the things his father taught him?  Do I accurately and correctly re-tell a story that was told to me by my grandfathers?  Am I teaching them the proper way, the way I was taught to tie a hook to a fishing line?  What was the secret I was taught on how to properly put a worm on a hook?  Do I tell my children talking doesn’t scare fish away?  Or, do I tell them talking does scare fish away?  Will they be able to digest the sights and sounds of their surroundings?  Will they breath in the fresh air and value how their time is being spent?  Will they place their hand in the cool water and bask in the day’s sunlight?  Will they listen to the sloshing of water under the metal boat and stare in the sky and wonder where the birds are headed?  I know only time will tell, but I have a feeling all will be perfect in the end.  My children are blessed by two guiding lights, which will be there for them when the path gets dim, and the light of day dissipates into night.

I can remember fishing in the ponds of Oklahoma with my Grandpa and Great-Grandpa.  I can remember fishing in the ponds of Missouri with my Dad and Grandpa.  I can remember fishing in the lakes of Wisconsin with my Brothers.  Fishing brings us together and will be a part of our family for generations to come.  Recently, my Dad took Cameron to Missouri to go fishing with my Grandpa (Cameron’s Great-Grandpa).  There is no better time to spend fishing, than fishing with Grandpa’s.  Every night we would get an excited phone call from Cameron telling us about his afternoon of catching fish.  During one conversation Cameron blurted out, “Daddy, I’m the Fisher King!”  I can only imagine which grandpa fed him that line?  I was happy he thought he was the Fisher King, but jealous at the same time and asked, ”What makes you the Fisher King?”  I was picturing him struggling to reel in a small perch and be so excited that he caught one fish.  I wasn’t prepared for the response of, “Because, I caught 12 fish and a foot long fish”.   One thing you have to understand about my family, we are HIGHLY competitive.  I don’t care if you’re 4 years or 99 years old, if you tell me you caught 12 fish and have evidence of your catch; I’m going to be pissed!  I was proud of my son, but felt it necessary to bring him back down from cloud 9 and told him, “That makes you an ichthyologist.”  For a few seconds there was silence and thought I was getting the last laugh on my 4-year old son when he replied, “Yeah, that and a FISHER KING!”  To do this day, I have never caught 12 fish in one day, and as usual, Cameron gets the last laugh.

This post is dedicated to both of my Grandfathers, two men I have always looked up to and admire.

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To Whom It May Concern: Volume III

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To Whom It May Concern,

Thank you for giving me a daughter, who feels that it is necessary to throw her plate of food on the ground, throw the food that is left over from the plate that was thrown on the floor to the dog.  Thank you for giving me a daughter who refuses to properly drink out of a Sippy cup and who finds it entertaining to allow water/milk to seep out of the cup and “paint” a picture on the table or carpet.  Also, thank you for giving me a daughter who loves getting into things that I never knew or forgot that we had and for destroying the things that I never knew or forgot that we had.  Thank you for giving me a daughter who throws her entire body backward in attempt to have a temper tantrum but instead allowing her to hurt her head in the process.  Thank you for giving me the greatest daughter a father could ask for…

Respectfully,

B.

P.S. – Instead of a drink, I’m going to gorge myself with food.

I am blessed to have two wonderful children that have learned to love and entertain each other.  This past week my Dad (Grandpa) took Cameron to visit his Great-Grandparents in Missouri.  It was nice for Janel and I to share alone time with Parker and give her a little more one on one time.  I took Parker to the Field Museum, she helped me with homework, we watched the entire Star Wars Saga, and we ate out of the cereal box every morning.  It was fun to watch her as she entertained herself with her dolls and how she commanded the dog to get off the couch when she wanted to get up and snuggle with Daddy.  When Cameron and my Dad returned, Cameron didn’t jump into my arms, he headed straight towards Parker and told her how much he missed her and proceeded to tell her about the fun adventures that he had with grandpa.  Which included all the milk gravy that he ate, the fish he caught, and the tractor that he drove.  Even though Parker didn’t understand half what Cameron said, she held him tight and said she loved him.  It’s these types of moments as parents that I cherish and makes me realize that I may actually be doing a good job.  As a wise man once told me, “we are nothing without family. – D.Y.O”