TheBoy – Daddy, who’s your favorite Star Wars character?
Me – What kind of question is that? Han Solo of course!
TheBoy – Well, Han Solo isn’t cool until the snow movie.
Me – You mean the Empire Strikes Back and he was cool in all three movies.
TheBoy – But he was blind in the third one for a while.
Me – Is this conversation actually happening?
TheBoy – It is and I’m right, Bobba Fett is my favorite.
Me – He dies though!
TheBoy – I didn’t see him die! Did you see him die or get eaten?
Me – Is this conversation actually happening right now?
TheBoy – It’s ok Daddy, the Force will be with you…
Let the good times roll…
As Mother’s Day is fast approaching I am lost as to what I should get TheWife. I have asked both children what they would like to get Mom for Mother’s Day. Here is the list I have compiled from each of them and reasons as to why I doubt we will get these really awesome gifts.
- Lightsaber – I have a feeling if a Lightsaber is purchased, it will come back and bite me in the ass. For some reason if TheWife and I get into an argument or disagreement I will end up like Darth Maul.
- Culver’s – Mommy is on a diet, I wouldn’t want to enable her and get her off track of her diet.
- iPad – she already has one.
- Hot Dogs – Uh, Mommy doesn’t want hot dogs.
- Shoes – Mommy already has enough shoes to supply a third world country
- Darth Vader – He would kick my ass and use the Force to choke me out. Not a fair fight!!
- Han Solo – Are we talking about 1980’s Han Solo or 2013 Han Solo?
- Millenium Falcon – Dude, are you trying to break the bank? We already have a Pilot.
- Christmas Presents – It’s May not December.
- 10. I don’t’ know – I don’t know either.
- Goodwill – We are not buying Mommy a gift at Goodwill
- Bring the Action Daddy – The action will be attempted to be brought, but it is Mother’s Day…
- Cookies – Are you guys trying to sidetrack Mom from her diet?
- Baby – First off, get that out of your little brain. There are enough babies in the house – including me.
- Flowers – Now we’re getting somewhere!
- Spiders – We were making headway with the flowers then you brought up the whole spider thing.
- Batman – Are you trying to replace Daddy with a billionaire with good looks and who fights crime?
- Easter Bunny – It’s May not April. There are enough bunnies in the yard for Mommy to look at.
- Lightsaber – Again, do you guys not like Daddy? I will get my ass sliced in half.
- 10. I dunno – I dunno either.
How about this? We allow Mommy to pretend that she is sleeping and we will pretend to be quite on Sunday. I like all of your ideas and think they are really cool. But, it seems as if you guys want Mom to stop dieting, freak her out, replace me, and want me hurt.
I think we will just get a card….